LET YOUR MARRIAGE BRING OUT THE BEST IN YOUR CHILDREN...

We all know that raising children in a very challenging society can be very taxing considering the many oppositions and distractions contending with the role of parenting today. On the other hand, one of the yardsticks to evaluate a successful marriage and society is reflected in the capacity to nurture healthy children through effective family values necessary in building a stable and secure family life.

As you celebrate ‘CHILDREN’S DAY,’ the question is…..How can your marriage bring out the best in your children in today’s dysfunctional family settings?

 Show them unconditional love

A singer who wrote, ‘give me your unconditional love, the kind of love I deserve, the kind I want to return.’ The most important element of a good marriage is LOVE.  When your marriage is secured in unconditional love, the fullness of love within your marriage will certainly flow selflessly into your parental responsibilities and you will have more than enough love to shower on your children. Love your children unconditionally regardless of their challenges and strengths and your love will keep them safe and sound.

YOU ARE THE FIRST TEACHERS

You are the first set of people your children depend on right from infancy and because you ultimately recognise their needs and how to satisfy them, you naturally become the most important people in their lives. You are the role models and the first teachers saddled with the responsibilities to care, nurture and support. Meanwhile, your children are watching you every step of the way emulating your behaviours and showing the world a true reflection of who you truly are.

Accept your mistakes 

Mistakes are inevitable in marriage but when you make forgiveness an element of your family values, mistakes can never override your lives as a family. As a couple, you must first of all learn to accept your mistakes and seek forgiveness from one another even through the smallest things. As parents, you must also never feel too old or gratified to apologise to your children when you upset them and also help them to learn from their own mistakes too.

Always reward diligence

In today’s society where hard work is often seen as a very slow means to attaining greatness, your family values should promote diligence. As a couple, you must appreciate your individual efforts and as a family, reward diligence in every area of your children’s lives. Celebrate milestones, little and big achievements both at home and in school and keep praising their unique qualities too.

Don’t be afraid to discipline 

An adage in my native tongue says, ‘A wayward child is the product of the mother.’ Perhaps that was when mothers stayed at home and only fathers went to work but today, it takes the combined efforts of both parents to produce purpose-driven children. A couple who understand the importance of discipline and have set this as part of their family values will certainly not be afraid to discipline their children. Through effective discipline, your children will appreciate authorities, understand the consequences of their actions and realise that the world does not revolve around them alone.